No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
