Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
