oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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