you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
