She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
