k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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