It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
