Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
