I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize