Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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