i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
