Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize