I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
