her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
