shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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