So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
