He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
