There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Enjoy the penises
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize