...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
