they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This is my gift to your gina
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
