You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
