This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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