He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
