Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
