Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
