so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
