Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize