you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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