We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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