Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
