garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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