whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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