I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
