Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
