So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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