Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
