I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
