is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
