well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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