sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
