a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
