it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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