I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
only you would photoshop your dick
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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