the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
