just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
