id be glad to
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
