They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
