If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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