idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i believe in u and ur pee
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
