evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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