I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
