people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
