fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
