garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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