I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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