I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
