Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
