Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Life without a bra equals bliss.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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