I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
