Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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