I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
How external is "for external use only"?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize