ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
