You just made me feel so damn special
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
