Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
