Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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