i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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