After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
