um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
