anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize