once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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