No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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