if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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